Mortality Issues

It's that time of year again when there is a sense of excitement as the year nears its end. An extra digit is added to the the number we currently have. The same is true for my magic number. It's hard to believe how it has grown and matured in some way. It is also interesting to see how it changes identity both internally and otherwise. For some people, the difference is minimal or doesn't exist at all. I wish this was true.

December. Normally, this is a time of reflection, a near death experience when my life flashes before me. The landing of an airplane is the nearest comparison in mind. I wait for the bump as the wheels touch down and feel the relief of my fellow passengers who usually applaud to express this, at least on the flights between Ireland and Poland.

I recount all that I have achieved, add it all up and see what it amounts to. Is it ever enough? The answer is in the restlessness that brews inside me as I feel that the book is coming to an end. You, the reader and also I, the reader have a mutual desire. There is a great need to try to make the story as interesting as possible. Why? I sometimes wish I knew the answer but right now, I am happy not to know it. Ignorance or simple acceptance is sufficient.